i have changed my decision for university admission...
a course that i prefer more but i am just afraid that the career prospects may not be as good as the other course.
well... i hope i will not regret it.
I painted my dreams at
10:01 AM
i had made my decision about something and my university course...
i have accepted the course just now... hope i will be able to survive the 4 years!!!
other than this, i had made a big decision. hope my decision is right.
really. i want it.
I painted my dreams at
9:54 PM
finally, i passed 3 stages!!!
3.08, 3.09 and 3.10! yeah. actually yesterday's lesson can pass 3.08 already, but the instructor revise the stage 3 stuff... it is also good, in a way... so that i cna pass 3.10 easily. haha... not bad.
so next lesson will be on 4.01, 2 test routes? hmm... hopefully i will remember to do those things like signal, check blind spots...
i am not sure if i can go for the auto-car lesson like after stage 4 or something. because i want to go for the non-peak one when i am out of job... must remember to ask my instructor next lesson...
another thing...
i am not sure if i want to do this, or should i do that? fast or slow? hurtful or not so hurtful?
i have already sort of made my decision already... i just need some more advice. give me strength.
I painted my dreams at
6:15 PM
welcome tea session was not bad yesterday...
i reached there at about 2.30pm, 30 minutes before the session starts...
at first, i thought i had missed the bus-stop and the next bus-stop was very very far... wah. in my mind, i thought i was wrong and thought of some other things...
then, fortunately, i alighted at the right bus-stop! haha. was quite happy because i don't need to walk back and...
well, so i went inside. i went to this tea session alone... i don't know what to do there... so walk around and then sat down.
there was a talk at 3pm, introducing the orientation camp, professors, and some burning questions about the course. hmm. this course is very tough. very tough. i am not sure if i can survive it.
can i make it through the 4 years? can i?
after the talk, we had a snacks session... i went to get some food and ate alone... sian. i don't see any familiar faces at alL!!! argh... then when i was eating, my neighbour, kaixian saw me... yeah. i finally saw someone who is familiar...
after that, we chatted... i find her quite friendly and nice... i also found out that she had accepted the course... hmm. then we had the lab tour... the lab is quite far away. the professor introduced to us the different lab instruments and equipment, talked about the different processes... not bad, i think. or should i say, i was listening to him so i think it is not bad. because the previous tea session, perhaps i was too tired and shut my ears, so i think that the other course was quite ... hmm.
now, i had to make a decision fast... 1st june is coming soon.
both courses are fine. just that i think one course has a better future and the other is more fun... argh... how to make the decision...
i think i will have a less stressful life at one U, and a more stressful life at another...
how...
a direct bus? or walk to mrt, then take to boon lay or pioneer and another bus there?
my future is at stake...
well. after that tea session, i went to JP to catch a movie with pearl and yanqiu! long time no see... i went home to get something for pearl and it was quite rushed, having to run from home to JE, in the hot weather and carrying 2 books... wah. tiring. but i still reached there at around 6.05 i think... just late for 5 mins... hehe.
angels & demons. it was quite a complicated movie... you have to be awake to know what is happening... the plot is nice. the script is also nice. some scenes were funny. actually, till now, i still can't figure out where is that bad guy... haha. maybe i will read the book one day and see if i can find the answer.
driving today again. hope i clear 2 more stages. 3.06 and 3.07.
3.06 should be fine, i think. hope 30mins will be enough. 3.07 is the tough one. vertical parking...
i hit 2 poles down during the parallel parking... argh. but it was okay. i was wondering, if there were no poles, how do we park? that must come with experience.
anyway, vertical parking... i must complete these 2 stages today... hmm... actually 3.08 is also quite okay. but don't be greedy... 2 stages is enough.
it will be better...
I painted my dreams at
9:25 AM
had the driving stimulator lesson just now... it was quite fun. the instructor was funny and he taught us some mistakes made by others...
we did emergency brake, 2-second rule and driving in the stimulator.
after this, i went for my driving lesson. the timing was just right...nice nice.
yeah. was happy that i completed 2 stages. directional change and parallel parking. revised on the s-course and crank course during the lesson too. actually i think can do driving on slope also, but the instructor said revise the s and crank course... well, at least i cleared 2 stages. the minimum i must clear so that i can complete in time... and have enough practice before the true test.
during the lesson, i saw many people going for their practical test. one of them MOUNT KERB. wah. felt very sad for the person... really. imagine it was me. time and $ was gone. the instructor somemore get out of the car and showed the person that he had mount the kerb. wah. the feeling is like being stabbed by a knife. ouch.
hopefully, i can do better and clear more stages soon!!! :)
later, i am going for the NUS welcome tea session... hmm. hope i can get more information about the course and make my decision soon!!!
movie later too! :) long time no see...
I painted my dreams at
1:49 PM
driving was bad today...only passed 3 stages in 2 lessons while other people can pass these 3 stages in one lesson. quite disappointed.
made quite a number of mistakes... like mount kerb, reverse too fast, did not change lanes properly...
haiz... wondering if i can pass my practical test if it is the same situation as today...
yes, i have booked my practical test and its on 9th july, thursday...
looks like all my tests are on thursday... BTT, FTT and now practical test... hopefully my practical test will go on smoothly as BTT and FTT. :)
I painted my dreams at
7:08 PM
quite a number of things happened this week...
happy ones. sad ones.
one of my colleague was terminated from her work. reason? slow, made many mistakes, always talk during work... ...
this colleague of mine had only worked in the company for close to 2 months, her probation was not even over. and the company terminate her just like that, willing to pay a week's salary... well. i felt sad because she was very friendly and funny, sociable and fun. everyone, except her boss and the other bosses in the company, like her. very nice person... she always makes us laugh. tell jokes. so, on the day she left ( friday ), almost everyone went lunch with her at swensens jp, even people from other departments joined. and we had lunch till 2pm, then we went back to the office. lunch was great, 1-for-1 lunch at swensens. we chatted, and i learnt more about HR (2 of them was from HR, and 1 of them told us)... understand why the company would make such a decision. hmm. both parties were wrong, i would say. my colleague really makes some mistakes that were terrible, such as keying into the wrong account, wrong coding, and somehow she didn't really realise she did something wrong. i am not trying to say something bad behind other people's backs... i wanted to tell her that actually both parties were wrong, but it would be such a spoilsport. it is like everybody thinks you were right and suddenly someone says you were wrong actually. on the other hand, the company was wrong. the company didn't inform her that that day was her last day till the day itself. i think it is a very short notice. she can't make any preparations. as in packing her stuff, giving her work back to her 'boss'... well. both were definitely wrong.
if they hired another person to do the same amount of work this colleague of mine had to do, the person would surely suffer! no rest for the whole month. this amount of work needs at least 2 people, one bad thing is that her 'boss' pushes everything to her and her 'boss' only did some minor stuff. even i, as a very low-ranking staff in the company was angry about it. as i had said before, the bosses wanted to see how she can cope and don't allow any temp staff or other people to help. in the end? we, the temp staff had to stay OT and finish the work like mad. coming back on public holidays and weekends.
no other people can do this job SINGLE-HANDLEDLY.
well, if this is their mentality, let it be.
i will only be in this company for a certain period only. if this carries on, i am not sure what will happen. anyway, an opinion of a low-ranking TEMP staff will not be much help to them.
but what i want to say is that, because recently the HR people said that the headcount of accounts department is very high, much more than other departments. the company had just been divided into smaller companies. and HR said the headcount increases. volume of work remains almost the same but why headcount increases?
i am not very sure why, but i only know that if they cannot finish the work, they had to hire people. likewise, a temp staff is hired to help finish the work and the person is not here for fun. the company hires not to waste money or what, so there is really a need when the company hires. and if the HR people are not satisfied or whatever, please come and do the work before saying anything. JUST DOING AP WILL TAKE UP ABOUT 1 WEEK. after that, it will be payment and whatever. so think first.
well... so that day, we went back at around 2.15pm. super nice. of course, the bosses are quite angry about it but they didn't do any actions. haha. around 5 against 2 ?
the same tragedy will happen... soon. very soon.
anyway, good luck to this colleague of mine. she will have a better time elsewhere although my company is not bad. jiayou! :)
i had OT on that day... clearing some stuff left behind and some problematic invoices. and i will have to stay OT next week too. the person ( who is my colleague's 'boss' ) told me that she will let me stay more so that i can earn more before i leave. i was quite shocked when i heard it. what a change! well. but staying OT is tiring. working for more that 12 hours... sian... the only force that is pushing me is the $ and free dinner and transport home... it all links to $. i am wondering if i have become a person who is very stingy... whatever i think all leads to $. is $ really that important?
well, dinner was sakae sushi AGAIN that day... swensens lunch was too full, so i only ate sakae salad and one salmon something... the salad is very nice! i regret not ordering more, because it may be the last time i will be eating sakae sushi for free... hmm. can't eat too much.
well... went to welcome tea session at NTU just now... it was okay. the morning food was nice. chocolate eclair... then we listened to the talks by the professors there, i was quite excited at first... but when we went to walk around the lab, somehow i was not tempted or attracted. the facilities were superb, perhaps i was tired or i was really not into this course? i began to worry. i used to like this course a lot, but now? what happened?
i really hope to get into a course i like. one thing is that i won't have to suffer for 3-4 years. and i really don't want to stress myself. i am afraid i can't cope with it. really scary.
everything will be fine.
it will only get better.
I painted my dreams at
8:18 PM
OT today! 8 hours i think... if including lunch hour. double pay. wonderful. that's my 2 days' pay... yeah! at least can cover for my leave and labour day holiday...
haha. :)
maybe monday which is my company's scheduled holiday, i have to go work again... 1.5 times? hehe. but maybe only work 3 hours... see how first. :)
driving tomorrow... afraid that some bad things will happen.
having some bad times recently...
yesterday, i accidentally spoil the computer and was so afraid... but in the end, it is just that the wire came loose.
then, today i thought i had misplaced some important invoices and tried finding in vain. but in the end, my boss forgot that we sent to another department for signature... argh. really give me a scare.
i am afraid that there will be more coming tomorrow and in the next few days...
hopefully not...
I painted my dreams at
7:51 PM
OT again!!! :)
and SAKAE SUSHI again!!!
haha...didn't expect to have sushi again, just 1 day after we had our sushi meal too.
yeah... wonderful.
and...
and...
going to work tomorrow... and its a public holiday!!!
double pay? hmm... nice nice.
yeah... loving it. :)
I painted my dreams at
10:39 PM
PASSED FTT!!! :)
went for practice in the morning... 8am. met up with xinyi and we went for practices together. was extremely tired. can't really open my eyes. argh. but it is good that i had 2 practices before my ftt. i can do all the 11 booklets and redo some of them. memorise all the answers. but some of the questions in the ftt was totally different. wah. really give me a scare. well, at least i can now continue with my plans and hopefully, book my practical test before my birthday...
the machine to print out the result was spoilt, so we can't book our practical test today. we can only book tomorrow. argh. one day is a lot of difference. and the worst thing is i can only book when i comes home after work tomorrow. not sure whether it will have any difference...
went home after ftt and slept for 1 1/2 hour before my practical lesson at 1410. had lunch at mcdonalds... actually wanted to save money and skip lunch or have something cheaper and lighter like old chang kee or subway cookies. but too heaty and didn't ate fastfood for quite a while. hmm. not bad.
anyway, driving was fun just now. didn't see my instructor for around 12 days and he looks very tired... keep yawning when i was driving. was a bit irritated la, seriously. he still cracks some jokes la. haha. i cleared driving on slopes and road hazards today. 2 stages. yeah. and i think i was more confident too. :) but somehow, my braking is still not very good. i tried to brake gently, but maybe the brakes in this car is different from the other cars. sian. braking is still very jerky and sudden. but the accelerator is easier to control now. hmm. have i improved? haha.
yearning for the next lesson... :)
had OT yesterday. actually i thought didn't have chance to stay back due to some reasons. =.= but luckily, the person who wanted me to stay told the superior and i stayed back! :) was irritated and frustrated that the boss didn't really care about whether this smaller company can close the april accounts. this smaller company still had much to do, matching, coding and keying in invoices. one whole stack of invoices, D.O, P.O... wah. thinking about it just makes me hates the boss more.
well, had sakae sushi for dinner!!! WOW! was quite excited and happy. ordered some different sushi that i never tried before! :) hehe. first time i ate sushi when i stayed back. wanted to order more but the petty cash person was afraid that it will cost a bomb and the bigger boss would be unhappy. hmm. anyway, the sushi person came at 8.15pm when we ordered at 6.15pm. 2 hours. superb. actually they wanted to cancel the order and don't give the person $ when he came. quite bad to treat the delivery person right. and it was his first day of work. haha.well, stomachs were growling, can't work and concentrate properly. but, was still happy that i got to eat sushi!!! FOC! lol. yeah. hehe. i think i won't get the chance to eat sushi FOC already... hmm. nevermind. at least i had one chance. :)
for the morning, i helped the boss to search for invoices to be sent overseas. searching is easy, but putting them all back gives me a headache. really. when the invoices are sent back, i think i would use one whole day to put back all the invoices. have to put them back where it belongs. sian. somemore, the boss suddenly say that they don't need one supplier's invoices already. one supplier that had 8 files of invoices. and i have to put them back tomorrow. SIAN. =.= somemore, the files are in the store and the store is quite spooky... one person in there... argh.
well. gossiped a bit about some people. really bad people. sian. what to do? working life is like that. had to face unreasonable people.
work tomorrow again. sick sick sick of it.
I painted my dreams at
6:26 PM
2 driving lessons just now!
my instructor had gone overseas so i had 2 different instructors for the 2 lessons.
first, i got car 60. the instructor says its a test car. the acceleration is very different, softer than the usual car. i mean easier to accelerate. the instructor point out a lot of mistakes that i make, such as braking too hard, clutch coordination (release too early, too late) . i know that i brake too hard and don't really know how to coordinate the clutch, but somehow my instructor didn't told me all these. sian. all along, i had made all these mistakes and perhaps this had already become a habit. HABITS DIE HARD. but, i learnt from my mistakes and had tried hard to correct them, like the braking. this instructor said my braking improved. haha. can feel the car slowing down smoother and not jerk. was quite happy. :) this instructor is not bad... although i feel he is a bit strange la. haha.
then, i got car 49. its a female instructor! wah. i was shocked. when i see the name on the paper, i thought its a male instructor ( or i presumed it will be a male instructor because there are very few female instructors ). she was okay too, quite zai at controlling the car (like use one hand to reverse). haha. i will be like her one day!!! not bad la. she use the first several minutes to teach me the theory of U-turns. then we went out on the road. she showed me how to U-turn first before i do. then i do some, but turn too much most of the time. sian. my low-speed control is okay la (i think,haha), but turn too much and hit the kerb on one U-turn. luckily, the car behind me is own people. we also did one round-about, but only one time, because of me... too eager or something la.
so today, i only did right turns and U-turns... hmm. i realised my previous lessons like go down the drain. didn't really know how to feel the car.
anyway, i got the letter from NUS and NTU.
welcome tea session... one 16th may, one 22th may. have to cancel my driving lessons on 16th and take leave on the 22th. hmm. don't feel very happy or what. i scared i will not be up to the mark. scared that i cannot cope with it. aww.
i will give it a second thought before accepting... :)
I painted my dreams at
6:18 PM
this week is quite a bad week, especially wednesday and thursday...
monday is okay, we had durians for lunch! haha. durians meal. i think i ate too much, so much so that even at 5.30pm, the durians had not been digested yet and i was not hungry at all. what's more is that my colleagues and i had already planned to eat buffet on that day. wah. so at first, i only drank green tea, to digest the durians... sian. eat too many already. then slowly, i ate some soft shell crabs, sushi... was quite full already. i shouldn't eat the soft shell crabs because they are fried. haiz. then ate some cold crabs, not bad. very nice. salmon too. the ice cream was wonderful. creamy, nice!!! then there were some specials every hour or so, and these were limited. it was quite fun, we had to observe the waitresses' , waiters' move to see whether the special food is coming or not, then we will rush to the counter to queue up for the food. there was twice 4 of us had this special item. lobster! super nice. i was afraid at first because i can't eat prawns-the smell of lobster is quite similar to prawns. but i don't care, fortunately. it was nice! :)
talked about office politics... some other jokes.
i really regretted eating so many durians... or else my buffet will be more worth it! definitely. aww.
anyway, the durians are also not very nice afterall. haha. but i ate a lot because i didn't eat durians for a long time. at least years.
my colleague also drove me home.haha.
on tuesday, it was okay too. nothing much happened.
wednesday is really my bad day. made too many mistakes.
colleague A asked me to do something. i did but i keyed some into the wrong account. i was super scared at first, didn't dare to tell A, at that time, colleague B came to use my computer, i decided to tell her, but B say it is nothing much, just receipt and offset the value.
so i pluck up my courage to tell A ( i was really very scared at that moment, never did i felt this way in this company), then A said " wah. this is really complicated. have to do a lot of things. you, ah. " i said " you angry? " she replied " no, just that i have a lot of things to do. " i just smiled a bit. i was guilty too. because everyone had many things to do and i made such a mistake.
so i offset the value and put into the correct account. after that, at first, A was afraid to give me things to do, haha. but because she was too busy, she decided to let me finish the task. there were home and foreign currency, i only did the singapore currency and i made the mistake already.
after that, other colleagues accused me of doing some wrong tasks. like keying into the wrong account ( i didn't do that, but maybe because i did the same mistake earlier, she thinks that this mistake is mine. ) wah. at that time, i didn't felt this way, i just smiled.
colleague C say i did not file the payment vouchers properly, as in there were 2 dividers of the same name. yes, i filed wrongly, but something she said just make me hate her. =.= she said " i don't give you your cheque ah, anyhow do things. " something like that. what the.
then this C thinks all the wrong filing is mine, everytime there were something wrong, it is always me. why can't it be the person who did this before me? i only take over this job like 2 weeks ago and i don't like it at all. the matching of invoices is tougher than the previous matching of invoices of the smaller company. then this C keep asking me to clear the problematic invoices when i don't know what they were for ( they were left by the previous person ). wonderful, right? don't understand why C choose me to do stuff for her, instead of that previous person. i helped her to key invoices fast only. i don't know anything about the problem invoices and i don't want to know. i don't know a lot of people in the other departments and C asked me to send this and that to them. problem invoices also need to ask other departments. the previous person is doing well, why can't you ask her to continue?
I REALLY PREFER TO DO THE MATCHING AND KEYING OF THE SMALLER COMPANY.
then yesterday, this C accused me of filing into the wrong divider. she asked me to find where did i file into? so i searched and searched. at first, i searched file C (the company's name starts with C), then i searched file T because i got this feeling that this company somehow changed name but i forgotten what is the new name... then C said " woah. from C to T ah. " (i can sense the sarcasm in her words). i don't care about her and continued searching. i finally managed to find it after some time, this company had changed its name and that's why i filed into file T. this C don't know about the change in company name and just accused me of filing wrongly. IT IS REALLY EASY TO PIN-POINT OTHERS.
then, my timesheet was checked and i wrote wrongly. good friday is a holiday and i wrote i worked 8 hours on that day, then my boss asked me " you worked on good friday? ha. ha." (this definitely is not said in a joking manner. i didn't said anything and just smiled a bit. i can feel that my boss also don't trust me. people err, don't you? =.=
C was the one who did the cheque and payment, so she did the cheque for me and then said to me " NA, GO, photocopy the payment vouchers " she definitely said it in a BU SHUANG way. IDIOT. so what if you are doing the cheque? in the end you still have to give me the cheque. you think by saying words like " i don't give you your cheque ah. " means i won't get my pay? please la, the most i complain to the bigger boss lor. very small things like stamping the received word and AP stamp on the wrong place such that some minor things can't be seen is also wrong. other thing have more important words so i stamp at that place. even this she had to say " i don't you give your cheque. " REALLY. I SALUTE HER.
sometimes i think C never use her brain. always only know to complain other people. like there was one incident when person D from another department didn't want to issue a PO because it is last year's PO and had to go through some stages, then C said "some small things like this also won't help us, next time D wants to issue cheque, i will do it slowly and wait for her to come down to get it, not us to bring it to her"
there was once C said " an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, if people treats me bad, i will do the same thing to them. " yes, this is right, but have you ever thought of treating them good and they will do the same thing to you? have you ever thought to make the first move and not wait for them to do it?
PLEASE, THINK OF THE THINGS OTHERS HAVE DONE FOR YOU BEFORE YOU GIVE THEM THE DEATH SENTENCE.
get back to the cheque thing again. she did the cheque for me and said " woah. this month pocket very full ah. haha. " then the next thing she said after 10 mins or so is bad thing. (the one " NA, GO, photocopy the payment vouchers in the BU SHUANG manner).
one minute C can smiled at me, the other minute she bu shuang me. WOW! what a change.
very li hai leh.
she sat with me on the bus home, then i had to talk to her, VERY RELUCTANTLY. pretend to smile and laugh when i talk to her, pretend to care about her stuff, like the issuing of PO by the other department. wah. GUESS THAT I HAVE LEARNT ALL THESE. BAD STUFF.
WHAT A HYPOCRITE AM I.
and i had to face her for lunch, on the journey home, for work. actually we were good friends and colleagues, C was the first few i got to know of in this company. i don't know why things turn out to be like that.
perhaps, i am SICK of doing the same things and did not do them properly. BUT, C SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ALL THOSE THINGS, RIGHT?
THINK FOR OTHERS, BE IN THEIR SHOES.
all these things make me ponder over whether i should continue to stay in this company. all the idiotic things, NO TRUST, clear instructions were not given, aunties gossiping behind people's backs... ...
the only thing that make me want to stay is the pay. i want to earn more so that during university, i do not really need to think about the financial part. so i am working for the pay now. ONLY.
PATHETIC.
i want to learn new things. this company is not teaching me much. i am ALWAYS doing the same thing over and over again. SAME STUFF. really SICK of that.
but pay is my first priority. aww. i will see how first, maybe when a good job offer comes and with a good pay, i will job hop. it is tough to find a job now, so i have to just bear with it for the moment. anyway i don't have any contract with the company, i can just go like that. and i will see how C copes with it.
HAHA! HAHA! HAHA!
feels really bad right. of course, i won't do such things. i will work till AP closes, that is the minimum.
one more month, can i bear with it?
on the other hand, one more month of pay!!! aww.
thinking of the pay, my pay for april is not bad. haha. that is the ONLY thing i look forward to at the end of the month. that is the ONLY pushing force for me to continue working in this company. i feel that i am very pathetic. others work for fun, their interest, i work for money. that is definitely not my aim when i started work. i want to gain experience. of course, $ was on the list when i started work. well... MORE OTs for month of may please!
i also thought of the holiday that i deserve. am i really enjoying my holiday? i thought of the future when i start university. i won't get any deserved breaks for 3, 4 years?
time really flies. it is MAY already. 6 months of my holidays are gone. 3 more months. it is still not too late for me to really enjoy.
I painted my dreams at
9:07 AM
